Where did you get a picture of my penis
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I touched a dick in church today
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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