it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
