Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
And then he peed in my hair
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