is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
