I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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