I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize