We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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