I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend