I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix