what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.