apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize