Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
