worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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