what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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