I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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