True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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