Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
