I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my phone needs a breathalizer
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
