its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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