David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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