We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.