Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(716): View more from New York

Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"

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