I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.