Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
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you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
