i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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