She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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