Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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