I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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