Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
