Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Shame - the story of my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
