last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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