i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
