Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
