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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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