I just cut my nipple shaving
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
