.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
