I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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