how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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