We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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