omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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