Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.