you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM