I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...