do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
