Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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