and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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