Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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