I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
