'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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