I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
