Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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