She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
