using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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