so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
