Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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