you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you made out with another girl for some wings
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
