Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
