people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize