so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
