mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
