that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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