He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
