i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
