My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You can't just leave with hair like that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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