Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We are two peas in an std pod
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
